Is it wrong that I want to be taken care of financially/raise children/cook/homemake?
I have never really wanted to work, I would much prefer to be supported financially by my husband and have children. I recently said this in my Gender Studies class and I received a lot of glares. As a woman, I believe my role is to raise children, as well as cook for my husband and children and take care of the household…why can’t people accept this? And where will I find a man who desires me to do this as well?
If the stereotypical roles created by your grandparents and all the generations that preceded them had not been structured as they were, the freedom of choice you now enjoy would not have come about. The whining and mewling and puking that prevails today would easily have disappeared in their generations as the women who complained enough did. It is an irony that women of today demand equal rights with men, but when they get them, all they do is complain. This is true because you cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. This is true for both sexes of all centuries and it is as true today as it was then. The strong will of both sexes prevails through the choices they make and through their willingness to see to it that their choices do shape the future their desires command. If you wish to be a stereotypical housewife of the ilk your grandparents were then, by all means, get up your gumption and go, gal. You can start by not listening to the exhortations of those of either sex that stand in your way. After all, most of the naysayers don’t pack the gear to rise to the level you aspire to that made this country great in the first place. Shoot ‘em down by setting an example they cannot, and will not, live up to. All talk and no do will always lead to only more failure. Don’t let your sun go down in a wash of words. Yours is a proven noble goal. Stick to it.
January 1st, 2010 at 7:31 am
this is the reason why you need us feminists to transform you into a full human so that you won’t have to settle for any traditional role. and heterosexuality is the thing of the past. lesbianism is the way to enjoy life! a full human womyn = lesbian
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full-fledged feminist
January 1st, 2010 at 7:43 am
Unless you want your child to be raised by a retarded daycare service, there is nothing wrong with staying home to raise the children when they are young.
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January 1st, 2010 at 7:59 am
You have us feminists wrong dear. We want men to work for us as well, while we sit around moaning about equal rights. He should do all the cooking and cleaning though and raise the kids. Its only fair, after all men have oppressed us womyn for centuries.
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January 1st, 2010 at 8:14 am
is it wrong that as a guy, i would like for the same thing? who wouldnt want that? its so much easier/ more enjoyable than most real jobs out there. you can find a man who desires a homemaker wife pretty easily. but then you’ll probably end up in an emotionally abusive relationship because your man wont see you as an equal, since you are more dependent on him than he is on you.
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January 1st, 2010 at 8:29 am
Men would rather you help out with some cash. We’re in an economic crisis for fucks sake.
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January 1st, 2010 at 8:45 am
No it is not wrong. That’s what you and him both decided. Nothing wrong as long as you both planned on it, and if it does not bother you.
Glares don’t mean people necessarily disagree, they were maybe more surprised, and then looked.
But even if they disagree, that probably means they don’t know what raising children is like, its more than a FT job.
That said, many woman are still having jobs, and using daycare, because that’s what they think is best for them and their children. In your case, you think otherwise. Nothing wrong with it.
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January 1st, 2010 at 9:01 am
If that is your CHOICE, I personally do not condone it because you will have no freedom or power in the marriage. If something were to go wrong & the marriage end you would be left dependent on him. Not to mention a complete lack of any life of your own outside of the home, friends, co-workers, the barista at the local coffee shop, these people keep us on an even keel & help give us a different understanding.
I was raised by daycare & I had some of the most amazing people in my life as a child, both of my parents worked & I admired my parents because they worked so hard so we could have a roof over our heads & food in our mouths. I am following in my father’s footsteps as a teacher & I hope when I have kids they can see me as more than just a mom but as a friend & mentor.
You may find you have no choice but to work, life is expensive & a single salary is not usually enough to pay all the bills. Once the kids start school you will be left home alone every day, trust me that gets boring. There are a lot of factors to consider here but I think you should focus on finding a man to love & one who loves you back, the rest wil fall into place.
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January 1st, 2010 at 9:21 am
Yeah, but we are not living in a hunter and gatherer era anymore. Both spouses gotta make money to survive these days.
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January 1st, 2010 at 9:51 am
nope, nothing wrong with that if you can find a man willing to give you this type of life – feminism has given you that choice
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January 1st, 2010 at 10:03 am
There are no guarantees in life and there is no guarantee that your husband will be permanently either willingly to take on the position of provider or capable of it.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a home maker, etc etc but do make sure you are in a position of being able to step into a career if necessary.
Where will find you a man that wants this as well? Try your churches – at least you will find, hopefully, men who value the homemaker with the moral beliefs that include an aversion to adultery or mistreating you.
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January 1st, 2010 at 10:49 am
If the stereotypical roles created by your grandparents and all the generations that preceded them had not been structured as they were, the freedom of choice you now enjoy would not have come about. The whining and mewling and puking that prevails today would easily have disappeared in their generations as the women who complained enough did. It is an irony that women of today demand equal rights with men, but when they get them, all they do is complain. This is true because you cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. This is true for both sexes of all centuries and it is as true today as it was then. The strong will of both sexes prevails through the choices they make and through their willingness to see to it that their choices do shape the future their desires command. If you wish to be a stereotypical housewife of the ilk your grandparents were then, by all means, get up your gumption and go, gal. You can start by not listening to the exhortations of those of either sex that stand in your way. After all, most of the naysayers don’t pack the gear to rise to the level you aspire to that made this country great in the first place. Shoot ‘em down by setting an example they cannot, and will not, live up to. All talk and no do will always lead to only more failure. Don’t let your sun go down in a wash of words. Yours is a proven noble goal. Stick to it.
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January 1st, 2010 at 11:07 am
In my opinion yes because in today’s society it’s pathetic and dangerous to not want to support yourself (or your children).
Then again I do approve of women staying home to raise the children when they are young but I think it’s wrong for somebody to never work and think it’s their right to be supported by somebody else! And it is dangerous if something happens to the husband.
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January 1st, 2010 at 11:43 am
Exactly. Then when you divorce him you can take 50% of his money and get lots more in child support because having been totally dependent on hubby for years on end – without marketable skills and an up-todate resume – you have no hope of ever landing a decent-paying job. What a shrewd girl you are!
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January 1st, 2010 at 11:51 am
Tough luck. The day’s of men being conned into slaves by traditionalist’s are over(or should be over).
70% at fault rate(in a no fault nation the first to file should be viewed as at fault) does not lie.
And in the 21st century once the kids are in school you sit around and watch tv all day while your husband works double shifts to keep a roof over your head?
Your an adult now, you are going to have to start acting like one soon.
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January 1st, 2010 at 12:13 pm
There is nothing wrong with wanting this. However, you will have to work until you find a husband who is willing and able to support you. So you should think about a job that you are going to find interesting. maybe go into catering or interior decorating or something if you enjoy cooking and housework.
I do not know how common it is nowadays to find men who will support wives at home, I think most men prefer wives who go out to work while the children are in daycare. However, there are probably still some men around who are willing to have housewives. I don’t know where you meet them though, it is probably a matter of chance.
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January 1st, 2010 at 12:43 pm
just seems really childish to me…
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January 1st, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I don’t think it is wrong to want to stay at home with children or cook and clean for a spouse.
I just would like young women to understand that they are not subservient to men. You have more value and more to offer than your uterus. If your husband loves and respects you for who you are as a person, including your talents, intelligence and creativity, and it makes financial sense for a parent to stay home, why not.
I love to cook and bake for my fiancee, but not because he expects me to. I cook because I like to. I work and go to school because I like to. When we decide to have children perhaps I will decide I like to stay at home with my child.
We all have the right to make choices about our lives, and as long as you are making the choice for you, and not for someone else or based on social expectations, you are a lot better off than a lot of women.
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January 1st, 2010 at 1:25 pm
Do whatever you please but make sure you ahve good skills and a degree in case the whole thing doesn’t work out if you don’t you will regret it.
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My divorced mom